you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
