Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
