Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
