she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
