She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
