I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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