I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
