Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
