the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
