The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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