Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize