i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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