The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
