i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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