i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
