i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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