I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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