brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
