one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
40s are totally the cure
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dick very happy bro
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
