I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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