i permit you to call me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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