Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
