I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
