Need sex. Gaining weight.
You smell like stripper and shame
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
