im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
