I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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