Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i barfeds in our rink
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
