Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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