Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
