my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
