I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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