may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
