yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
