her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
