can we get nightvision for the apartment?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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