last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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