U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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