I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm just crazy horny about you
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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