ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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