seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
