yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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