i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
