shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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