so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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