i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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