taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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