It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
