I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
