I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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