About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize