i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
