So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
