...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
